To a degree or another we all know the famous MOTHER’S GUILT:
when we go back to work or when we choose not to
for not feeding them enough healthy food or making them eat tofu
for making them cry (when you simply said no to buying more Pokémon cards)
when they are sick and you are not here
for taking time for yourself (from a shower to a few days away with your girlfriends)
for making a mistake in your parenting (when you read too many books on child psychology)
The pressure we put on ourselves as mothers to be good/perfect, is HUGE!
Weather it is a guilt that has been passed upon from your family or society, it is now ingrained and self-inflicted.
We seem to have adopted this belief that there is only ONE good way of being a mother and if you don’t follow the script closely…. BAM, guess what?
YOU ARE GUILTY!
Worst is when we don’t acknowledge and process this guilt, it can quickly turn into resentment and even (unconscious) anger.
So you start to feel upset and angry for no apparent reasons, you get snappy (at your partner, at your mom, at your children, your dog...) and then maybe even guiltier for snapping…
Ok, let’s drop the Guilt Load Mama!
I did a ritual way back in a women circle where all the mothers were invited to feel that guilt and express it…
Wow, it felt so freeing to do that WITH other mothers.
As if sharing it was in itself a liberation, an awareness that we are carrying this collective inherited heaviness that doesn’t really belong to us.
So here is a simple way you can practice dropping the guilt.
>>DROPPING THE GUILT PRACTICE
When it arises, recognise the guilt creeping in.
Feel it fully, locate the sensation in your body and the type of sensation (ie. I feel a contraction in my stomach)
Breathe into it and consciously decide to drop the guilt. You can even visualize yourself dropping a load off your shoulders.
Pick a mantra that resonate with you or create your own and repeat often:
I am the best possible mother for my baby/child/teenager/gremlin
I deserve to xxx (take a shower alone, take a singing lesson, go out dancing with my girlfriends)
The happier I am, the happier my children are
Enjoy your guilt dropping ladies!