I used to be a people pleaser.
Growing up in different countries I had to adapt every time we moved, make new friends and this wasn’t always easy...
I learned to follow others to be liked so I could have friends and feel like I belonged.
Pleasing people all the time is exhausting and in the process you forget about your own truth, you forget about yourself.
It often translates into not being able to say no when you wish you could.
And if you are like me you genuinely like to be helpful... but if you don’t watch out people take that as a sign that they can push your boundaries over and over.
So you end up being the one that get asked to help a lot! You get labelled, the "good" friend, the "good" mom, the "good" colleague. And there is nothing wrong with being a good and kind person but it is so healthy to be fully honest and also get to sometimes say NO.
Saying "no, I don’t want to use my precious time in PTA meetings and be involved in my children school this year"
Saying "no, I really can't come to this event...I might not work full time but I am still busy as hell and I choose to focus on me at the moment"
Saying "no sweety I can't read you another story tonight, now is parents time"
Saying "no sorry I can't have this conversation right now, but I will get back to you later"
Saying "actually I am not coming even if I said I would and it's ok if you judge me for changing my mind, you might not understand fully what is going on for me"
And it isn’t selfish to say no to others!
In fact it is quite the opposite, saying no to others when you don’t want to do something is saying YES to yourself.
Moreover you are modelling for others what it looks like to be empowered, to have healthy boundaries, to radically choose yourself and love yourself...
so you can be happy and thrive
so you can find out what lifts you up and lifts others up
so you can serve in a way that is aligned for you
so you can live a purposeful life on your own terms
so that they get inspired to do the same for themselves!
You are actually serving others when you respect yourself enough to say no, you are not being unkind, you are respecting and loving them enough to be fully honest.
I learned I couldn’t own my full yes, If I wasn’t fully owning my full no.
So this week I would like to invite you to say no whenever you don't feel like doing something you don't really have to. It can be hard at first but then the more you practice it, the more you will feel good and free ;-)
This season is already so busy with all the end of the school year madness, be kind to yourself first mama and kindly (but firmly) stand in your truth.
You've got this!
❤
Camille